Managing Your Mind

As you navigate your career path in a world that feels increasingly volatile and uncertain, do you find yourself feeling immobilized by self-doubt? Are your beliefs about yourself, about the job market or about what might be possible for you keeping you stuck in a state of fear and overwhelm?

If so, you are not alone. But imagine if you could get better at managing your mind so that you felt more capable, so that the task in front of you felt more doable, even though the outcome remained uncertain. Imagine being able to minimize the mind drama so that you could focus on your next step and make your actions more intentional and aligned with what truly matters to you.  

Managing your mind involves:

• Paying attention to your thoughts.

• Separating yourself from your thinking (meaning you become the observer of your thoughts instead of identifying with them and accepting them as true).

• Being curious about the negative thoughts and limiting beliefs you hold.

• Questioning the conclusions you’ve reached and the assumptions you’ve made.

• Practicing new habits of mind (meaning new thoughts and beliefs) so that your actions align with your values and your current mission in life.

That’s a lot, so let’s break that down.

First, give yourself permission to sit and reflect. Some people might stop reading at this point because this might feel like a big ask. Who has time to sit and reflect? But this is a crucial step, even if it’s not easy to do. When we feel stressed and overwhelmed, a common coping strategy is to seek distraction and distractions abound (social media, the news, eating, drinking, shopping… there are endless ways for us to avoid introspection).

You can start small. Start with five minutes. Set a timer if that helps. As you sit and reflect on your career, notice the thoughts and beliefs that come up. Write them down. The writing part is significant. Being able to review what you’ve downloaded from your mind onto the page will help you to better understand yourself and allows you to assess and perhaps challenge some of your beliefs.

Don’t believe everything you think. Our thinking is influenced by our conditioning, our upbringing, things other people said, our culture, and numerous other factors. Some of our thoughts are simply not true, but if they remain unchallenged, they end up directing our behavior.

The next step is to get curious. Instead of beating yourself up for having a bunch of negative beliefs, get curious about them instead. Pick one belief, one that’s currently holding you back. What do you know for sure is actually true? What might not be as certain as you think it is? What issues could benefit from some additional research? Be honest with yourself. Are there opportunities you’re not exploring because of your fear and self-doubt? What if you allowed the fear to be there and explored them anyway? Are there people you can reach out to who have access to information you currently lack? This is why networking is so important. Schedule conversations to gather more information, perhaps more accurate information than you currently hold.

But before you rush off to go down a rabbit hole online or even to schedule a networking call, sit with yourself a little bit longer. Get clear on what is really important to you right now. Take the time to determine what would actually bring you fulfillment. Otherwise, you will simply default to what our culture tells you is meaningful, and let’s face it, we live in a society that encourages us to keep striving for more – more money, more things, and more status. There is nothing wrong with money, things or status, just make sure that’s what you want for reasons that are true for you, not just because that’s what others seems to be chasing.

Again, writing this down is helpful. In moments of doubt (and you’ll still have these moments because you’re human), you can review your notes and remind yourself about what is important to you.

Be willing to slow down enough to check in with yourself regularly. When you don’t like your current situation, it makes sense that you’d be in a hurry to get somewhere else, but by taking your time, you’re more likely to be discerning in your assessment of opportunities, to stay in alignment with your values, and to keep yourself feeling grounded, calm and capable of facing the unknown.

Work on not being attached to any particular outcome. Here’s an example: Let’s say you’ve arranged a networking conversation. You’ve prepared and you have an agenda and an outcome you’d like. Before the meeting, ask yourself these questions: How attached am I to a particular outcome? How much am I clinging to a particular idea about how I want things to unfold? How flexible can I be in my own mind so that I remain open to all possibilities? As best you can, stay open, and allow the conversation to unfold. Perhaps you’ll gain new ideas to explore, new contacts to meet, and new insights on what might be possible for you.

The final point, and perhaps the most important, is to be a friend to yourself as you go about the business of managing your mind, building new habits and unlearning some old, ingrained ones. Questioning and perhaps rejecting what culture tells you is worthy of pursuing takes courage. Feeling fear and doing the scary thing anyway requires strength and resilience. This work can be exhausting, so pace yourself. Make the effort to stay connected with others who are supportive and help you to stay hopeful, and be intentional about making room for the things (big and small) that bring you joy.